A Few Random Thoughts…

I often go downtown and sit in a cafe and write for hours about random things. It’s therapeutic. Something about a good cup of coffee and maybe a cookie or scone just gets the words flowing, I guess. Anyways, here’s a couple of paragraphs containing observations made during those long hours staring out the window, sipping a mocha and watching the people walk by. I feel like these capture the essence of some of the cultural curiosities that stand out to me as a teen in today’s world.

What is it about humans that longs to be loved? When we’re children, our parents’ love is enough. As we grow, we start searching for the love of true friends, and eventually, we long for the love of a soulmate. We all go through a phase where we don’t think we’ll ever fall in love, we don’t think we need it. Eventually, though, that wears off, and we’re left with an aching desire to be loved in a way that only that one special person can love us. We crave companionship. We want to be truly known and understood. Why do we desire that so much from other people, when we can get it unconditionally from God?

 

Jocks, nerds, hipsters, emo kids, they’re all defined by one or two things that constitute their “label”. Real people aren’t like that, though. Real people have a bit of everything in them. I love watching and playing basketball, but that doesn’t make me a jock. I love it because of the people that taught me to play, the people who first watched it with me. I love to read and do schoolwork, but that doesn’t make me a nerd. I love it because I have a longing to learn and understand. I am not one label, I am a mix of many. Real people are a mix of many labels, they cannot be contained. They are divergent. They do not conform. Real people have differences and similarities beyond the obvious.

This last one was definitely inspired by my own escapism, as I have a tendency to attempt to disappear from my day-to-day life. Often writing serves this purpose, writing and some good music from a bygone decade, but I’ve observed the desire to ignore life and hide in a fictional universe in so many other lives as well. I felt it deserved some attention.

Humans have an interesting desire to escape from their own reality, and dive into someone else’s fantasy. Perhaps more now than ever, we throw ourselves into movies and tv universes in an effort to distract from our own reality, our own story. We idealize the fictional world, because everything is seemingly so perfect. Artists create stories, perhaps, to heal their own pain. An adventure into what could have been, perhaps, or a fantasy of what we wish could be true. I find myself drawn to the simplicity of life in stories, the simplicity of good versus evil and the good guys always winning. I long for those shining moments of untainted peace, the uncomplicated tales of everyday life. In truth, life is never uncomplicated, and never untainted. Life is hard. Everything seems so easy in movies, and we use their simplistic worlds to escape from our own.

I definitely enjoyed putting together this post, it’s sort of a peek into what I think about/write about while I’m hiding away by myself with a pen and my notebook. Some of these things are interesting to think about. Also, I highly recommend spending hours in a coffee shop or bakery and writing or daydreaming or doing whatever you do… that time to reflect has been invaluable for me and helps to slow things down. I’d go so far as to say that taking this time to chill and write has almost made my life a little simpler.

Chasing Slow

My mom bought a book for my older sister, asking me to give it to her when I see her in two weeks. Intrigued by the title, I sat down to read it and it was the best decision I’ve made all week.

I have to start by saying that Erin Loechner is an amazing writer. Her words flow together so nicely, technically speaking it was a really easy book to read. I guess I found her writing style to be similar to the way I think, casual but eloquent. I can only hope my own writing will one day be as smooth as that… Anyway. Ranting about how the words are strung together aside, the words themselves hold an important message.

The title of the book, Chasing Slow, might just be two words, but it is the perfect description of what the book is about. Erin describes her own journey to embracing a life of less, a slower, more meaningful lifestyle. She uses her own experiences to illustrate the importance of letting go of control and allowing life to just happen.

Erin implores her readers to discard the calculating, mathematical control that we think we have over our lives, and instead embrace a life of slower pace, less distractions, and more life. She writes of her own experience discarding some of the “rules” that we adopt, defining what’s normal, and how it instantly transformed her lifestyle into something much more meaningful. She paints a picture of a lifestyle that many of us long for, but fear is unattainable.

The truth is, anyone can slow down and live with less. Actually, it’s when you slow down that you actually start living. Learning to break the rules and remembering that life is for living rather than just existing is not easy at all. But when I look back on my life in twenty, thirty or forty years I don’t want to remember a life where I’ve overcommitted to countless things that I have no passion for. I want to remember spontaneous road trips, playing cards at a dinner table on display in an isolated corner of Sears Home, and walking in the rain without an umbrella.

I see Chasing Slow as a challenge, a call to live the fullest, most authentic version of my life. The key to this, or so it seems, is realizing that all I need is right in front of me, and everything else is white noise. If we choose only to fill our lives with the things that truly matter, we have so much more free space to enjoy those things. Even as I’m writing, in my brain I’m going, oh gosh this sounds hard… but in the long run I think it will be worth it.

Art Gallery Reflections…

So I went to the Kelowna Art Gallery today. I’ll admit I’m not the biggest fan of modern art, its deeper meaning has a tendency to escape me. Today, however, I had an interesting revelation.

I wish I’d taken pictures of this particular exhibit, it would be so much easier to describe, but I’ll try my best anyway. There were all kinds of white clothes of different styles and sizes and shapes sewn together in a massive canopy hanging about 12 feet above the floor. The lights from the ceiling above shone through the white material, making the canopy semi-transparent. Pillows lay on the floor below, giving a perfect spot to lay down and gaze at the canopy above.

As I was lying on those oh-so-comfy pillows, an interesting comparison came to mind. I thought of the fall of man, and how Adam and Eve fashioned clothes out of leaves when their eyes were opened to their nakedness. They felt shame for the first time, and clothing themselves covered their shame. The fact that the clothing I gazed at was white also resonated with me, as white has always been associated with purity and perfection.

I came to the conclusion that as humans, we make mistakes and we have deep imperfections. We try to cover ourselves with fabricated perfection (no pun intended), and we present an image that seems unblemished to the rest of the world. However, when God’s light shines on us, our lily-white facade becomes transparent, and He sees through to our deepest blemishes and insecurities.

I suppose this resonated with me particularly because I have always struggled with appearing to be better or stronger or more put-together than I feel inside. In a way, there’s a comfort in knowing that God sees it all, regardless of my attempts to cover it up in shame, but He doesn’t love me any less because of it.

Happy Thursday!

So… it’s been an intense couple of days. I’m eternally grateful that I can just write and let it all fall away for a while. I wanted to chat today about purpose: or what my life is for. (wow, pulling out the big questions, right?)

As a blogger and a Christian teen, I’m often faced with the question, “what makes you think you have anything valuable to say?” I often question myself, my potential, and my ability to make a difference. It’s really easy to doubt my effectiveness in the Kingdom. Is what I’ve been doing really God’s purpose for me? The fact is, God has the blueprints for my life, and because He knows that I can’t handle it all at once, He’ll give it to me piece by piece. This allows me to grow and change at a pace that isn’t too fast or overwhelming for my humanity.

As Christians, our purpose is literally to honour God, walk with Him and to “show and tell” people about Him. It’s really pretty simple. But, we often ask, what does that mean for me practically? We often find ourselves searching for a concrete calling: a practical application of our “umbrella purpose” in Christ. Maybe our focus on our careers as our calling is the greatest mistake here. I think I’ve come to a reasonable conclusion; my purpose is to share my story. My mistakes, the little things I’ve learned from those mistakes, the pain I’ve felt, the joy I’ve shared, everything that makes up a person’s life. Not only that, but my purpose is to make my life a story worth sharing, a testament to our Lord. I will only have something valuable to share if I make something valuable out of the life I’ve been given. So don’t focus too much on what you should do as a career, God will lead you to the right one. You might have one career in your life or 12, but at the end of the road, if you’ve stayed close to God and listened to His voice, you will have fulfilled your purpose in Him.

Oh, and Happy New Year! #prayingfor2017

Sofia ❤

The Ultimate Guide to Applying to Post-Secondary as a Homeschooler

Grade 12 is a ridiculously exciting time. We’re finally almost done, we’ll never have to look at another textbook again! Oh wait… maybe we will. If you’re like me, then you’ve been dreaming about going to university one day for, well, basically all of high school. It’s super exciting!! Now, by this time you probably know all of the BC grad program requirements, and most of you are working to complete them. Great! This post, however, is not for the homeschooler graduating with a Dogwood diploma. You’ve got this in the bag already! 🙂 This post is for the homeschooler who is not “technically” graduating by Ministry standards. The one who comes from a more colourful educational background, like me. Yeah, you guys. You can go to university too!!

Step 1: Accept that you’re different

You are not the same as the homeschoolers who did it all according to the book. You come from a completely different mold! For me, my mom’s philosophy and beliefs about education, combined with her trust that God would give her wisdom to educate her kids properly, birthed the method by which I was educated. Now, I’m not unschooled or anything, but I did go a very, very uncommon route through high school. I realized after the fact that I should have taken time first and foremost to talk to my mom, understand why she educated me the way that she did, and make it my own. My education is very much a part of who I am, and just because it’s different doesn’t mean that it’s wrong! That’s what the Ministry of Education fails to see. So if you’ve done things a little differently so far, and you still want to go to university, OWN IT. Accept that you’re outside the system, and make the system fit around you! Yeah, you can do that. And it’s fun. Get to the place where you stop asking “how can I fit into these requirements?” and start saying something along the lines of “This is me. Deal with it.”

Step 2: Explore your options

It’s really easy as a homeschooler to start thinking that you don’t have as many options as other kids. The truth is, well, yeah, you have maybe 3 less options than other students, the three Canadian institutions that haven’t evolved enough to accept home-educated students. A lot of universities have a specific application process for homeschoolers, so that each of us can be evaluated individually. With others, it just takes a phone call to the admissions advisor (more on that below) to explain your background. Basically, you have hundreds of great institutions to choose from, so do a little research, make a list of a few top picks, and then you can start worrying about the application.

Step 3: TALK TO AN ADMISSIONS ADVISOR!!!

I put this one off for so long, and I’m just so glad that I finally got around to it. Applying to universities with a colourful educational background like mine can be daunting, and very discouraging. When I finally spoke to the admissions people at my top institutions, I heard the same answer over and over: “yeah, of course, we can totally make that work for you!”. I think it had a lot to do with the way I approached them (see step 1), and I ended up feeling very encouraged. Plus, I got to speak with the people who actually would end up making the admission decisions, which is a HUGE plus. Trust me, this is a super important step, and if you’re putting it off because phone calls make you anxious, send an email! Establishing a line of communication between you and the people in admissions is so, SO important.

Step 4: Start your application

Usually the process is a little different for homeschoolers, depending on how differently you did things. 🙂 Usually it just involves demonstrating proficiency in certain subject areas, and readiness to take on university level course work. I would recommend that you continue to communicate with the advisor throughout this process, as it makes it exponentially easier for you, and you don’t have to try to figure things out on your own. And DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. Do what has to be done, and then let it rest. Remember, you still have to finish grade 12!

If this guide helped in any way, or if you’ve had a similar experience to mine, or if you’ve thought of something I missed, drop me a comment! I’d love to hear what you have to say! Even just to know that I’m not the only one. 🙂

 

The Pursuit of Self-Discipline

 

So, this is to be the week of self-discipline. I’ve been a little obsessed with “getting my life together” over the weekend, and this week I’m hoping to see it play out in some positive ways. Honestly, I don’t think anyone is truly put together. Everyone has their bad days. However, I really want to try to establish some good habits. Now that I think about it, a week is a really good place to start, but it’s going to take WAY longer.

Taking advice from several other bloggers, pinterest, and numerous other sources, I compiled a list of things that I can do to practice self-discipline, create good habits, and overall be more productive and energetic this week. Hopefully you can benefit from this list too!

1. Start every day with bible reading and prayer.

For a lot of people, this might be a no-brainer. And to those people I say, good on you. Personally, this has always been a challenge, due to the fact that I am most definitely NOT a morning person and taking the time in the morning was difficult for me. However, I’ve found that when I do get up earlier to take that extra 15-20 minutes of devotional time before I start my day, I’m generally a happier, more pleasant person to be around because of it. Plus, I’m committing my day to God which somehow ends up making me way more productive. 🙂

2. Exercise first thing in the morning if possible.

Another super super hard one for me… I’m typically quite lazy, especially in the A.M. It’s way too easy for me to choose to roll over for an extra half hour in bed rather than get up to do pilates with Mum. Regardless, choosing to exercise first thing in the morning is super important for me, as it gets the blood flowing, wakes me up, gets me feeling really great, and even simply choosing to do something good for me rather than staying in bed sets a much more proactive mood for the day. For the record I failed this one this morning, but there’s still time left in the day to fit in a quick pilates sesh or maybe a walk around the block. Tomorrow morning, though, I’m gonna do it. And now that it’s been published on the internet, I kinda have to! 😉

3. Set goals (personal and practical) for the week.

Setting goals is so very important. It gives me something to work towards, keeping me motivated. A rewards system always helps too. 😉 Some of my goals include making sure to journal every evening, finishing the book I’m currently reading (The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien, reading it for the umpteenth time and loving it more than ever), and cooking dinner twice this week. Goals keep me focused and driven, and the completion of said goals brings an undisputed sense of accomplishment. I look forward to feeling like I’ve earned my weekend! xD

4. Get an agenda (if you don’t already have one) and USE IT!!

I can’t stress this one enough. I have a planner that my parents bought me for Christmas last year, and honestly, it’s been great. I was just at Chapters flipping through gorgeous Kate Spade planners that I can’t afford, and despite what Pinterest says, you don’t need a fancy one to be able to plan your life. One of the best things you can do to keep your week organized and in perspective is to lay it all out in a planner. You’re less likely to forget appointments or due dates, and you reduce the chances of feeling like a hot mess by 10000000%.

5. Turn off your phone at least half an hour before bed, and read instead!

That rhymed! Unintentionally. I’m awesome. Anyway, everything you’ve heard about blue light from your phone affecting your sleep is TRUE. You. Will. Sleep. Better. And when I say turn off, I mean TURN OFF. Don’t just lock the screen. It’s better for you, and it’s better for your phone battery to actually turn it off at night. As for reading, it’s a fantastic way to calm yourself down and prepare for sleeping, as well as sneakily improving your vocabulary and overall brain function!

6. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep.

It’s true, some people need around 10 hours of sleep, whereas some people need only 6 or 7. I tend to need about 9 hours of sleep to be able to function at my very best during the day. Figure out how much sleep you need to be most productive the next day, and commit to sleeping that much. You’ll be doing yourself a favour!! EVEN IF IT MEANS WATCHING ONE LESS EPISODE OF GILMORE GIRLS. I know it’s hard, but you can do it. 😛

I think that about sums up the six things I’ve committed to doing this week to become more productive and put-together. I’ll check back in on Friday to let y’all know how it went!

#AppreciationPost

I constantly wonder if I’ve made any kind of a difference in other people’s lives.

I can’t be the only one who feels that way. Haven’t you ever wondered if you’ve made an impact on the people around you? I think that as Christians, we should continually be asking God to use us to reach people, and as humans, we like to know when we’re actually being effective.

I am a firm believer in the fact that God brings people into our lives for a specific purpose, whether it be to teach you something, to bring you comfort and community, to challenge you, or even just to walk alongside you for a time. I have seen this played out in my own life so many times. Because of this, I fervently hope that God has used me in the lives of the people around me. Not only that, but I would love to know if and how I’ve impacted other people’s journeys, just to have the assurance that I am successfully doing God’s work in this world. Doesn’t that make sense?

Think about, basically, anyone you have ever cared about. Okay, now narrow it down to three, because the average human has about 396 personal relationships in a lifetime and that is a very large number of people to be thinking about at once. 🙂 Wouldn’t you like to know if you made a difference in their lives? Okay, now think about the people in your life that have impacted you. Think about the people that God used in your life to encourage you when you were down, or to redirect you toward Him when you wandered from His path. Do they know how much their influence meant to you? I bet they would love to hear how God used them to bless you. Honestly, it is one of the most beautiful and effective forms of encouragement to hear that you actually made a difference in someone’s life, and don’t those people you were just thinking of deserve that?

That’s why I’ve made a point to tell people when they’ve made a difference in my life. There are so many people that I have met over the years who have taught me an important lesson, inspired me in my faith, encouraged me when I was discouraged, or given me a swift kick in the pants when I needed it most. The sad part is, I will never again see most of these people, and I deeply regret not having told them how much they blessed me. And honestly, if I could go back in time, I have a whole list of people I would want to talk to, to tell them how much they contributed to making me the person I am today. I can’t stress enough how important it is to tell someone how God has used them in your life. Even just a small expression of appreciation for the people who have affected you could go a long way in encouraging them, as well.

So thanks: to my incredibly patient mom and dad, to my beautiful sisters, and my dear friends. Thank you for continuing to inspire me, challenge me and encourage me on a daily basis. God has used you to bless me in countless different ways. I pray that He would continue to do so, and that He would give me the opportunity to do the same for you.

Learning to Drive

Learning to drive is probably the greatest and most stressful challenge in the life of the average 16-year-old… at least those who live in British Columbia, or other places where the age to learn to drive is 16. I’m going to be perfectly honest, it’s really, really hard. Crazy terrible hard. Super super insanely hard. You get the idea, right? I went for a drive today with Mom for the first time in probably 2-ish months, and getting back behind the wheel was, well, very very far from riding a bicycle.The funny thing about me is that I have this incessant need to be in control of everything. Meaning, I have a hard time leaving things up to God, even when it’s clear that there’s absolutely nothing I can do. You’ve probably picked up on that after reading the previous posts, eh?

Driving, however, is the one scenario where I am in complete control of what happens and, interestingly enough, I find it crazy scary. Of course it’s not a perfect metaphor, because I can’t control anything that the other drivers on the road do, but even when I’m on a lonely country road with no one else in sight, keeping control of that behemoth of a car is really stressful. After today’s driving lesson, I realized that I have a really hard time when under the pressure of actually being in control, so thinking that I can control every aspect of my own life is crazy, pointless, and let’s be honest, downright stupid. I guess it’s a good thing that God doesn’t make us deal with the pressure of being in control of our whole lives. It’s actually really nice to think that someone with perfect motives and flawless judgement has complete control over our lives, so we don’t have to worry about screwing up and causing irreparable damage.

The Importance of Having a Teachable Spirit

If you didn’t already know, I am a math tutor. I get crazy excited about things like Euler’s identity, Fibonacci numbers and the number 9, and I really enjoy passing that excitement on to other people. I can’t stress enough the fact that the primary goal I have as a tutor is to help my students find enjoyment and magic in math. If that sounded completely ridiculous, don’t worry because that’s not what this post is about.

Believe it or not, I’ve learned a lot from the few students I’ve worked with. I have to say, one of the most important things I’ve learned is that in order to have an effective tutor/student relationship, I have to be just as (or more) prepared to learn from my students as they are to learn from me. I have to be… teachable.

It’s much easier to be teachable as a student. It’s pretty much a non-issue, because being teachable is the only way you can make it through school. Those who refuse to humble themselves and allow themselves to be taught are generally the ones who struggle the most. It’s really quite easy to allow someone to teach you when there is no doubt that they know more than you do. Being teachable is a part of life when we’re growing up, and there really isn’t anything we can do about that. But as we get older, and learn more and specialize in our knowledge, it is much easier to allow our pride to tell us that we have nothing more to learn from anyone.

This is especially hard for educators. People whose careers are based on teaching others should wrestle with the fact that being teachable is a two-way street. A teacher who understands just how much he or she can learn from a student is far more effective as an educator than one who is adamant about passing knowledge to the students without receiving anything in return. I have had both kinds of teachers in my “vast high school experience” ;), and I have learned more from the former than from the latter.

I believe that everyone we meet has something to teach us, whether they are older or younger, more or less educated. Everyone sees the world differently, and to learn from another and see a glimpse of the world through their eyes is an enriching and important experience. I believe that we never stop learning, even when we finish our formal education we have so much more to learn about the world and life and human interaction. Book learning is not the end all and be all of education, and the sooner a person understands this, the sooner they become teachable.

“Those who learn more than they teach are the best teachers of all.” – Unknown

Eureka

Ever have those days when everything just goes so right, and fits into place and is just overall perfect?

That was my day today. 🙂

So, my day started out with a Student-For-A-Day class at Okanagan College. Wow. You probably know how insanely obsessed with physics I am, and that’s obviously the class that I participated in at the college this morning. It was – for lack of a superlative of greater impact – INCREDIBLE. I had such an amazing time, I surprised myself with how much of the college level class I understood, and being there just felt so right. I am still so hyper/excited, so much so that I feel sorry for my family having to deal with my intense euphoria about this whole day. The class itself was super interesting, it was a lab on vectors and equilibrium. Shoutout to Trevor, my lab partner, for being awesome. xD

Right after the class, I had lunch with a friend of mine by whom I have always been encouraged and inspired. I was super jazzed when I met up with her after the class, and talking to her and reminiscing about old times was just incredible. She also gave me a lot to think about, some spiritual insights on trust and peace and just waiting on God to do whatever it is to do with the time that you have. It was so encouraging to talk with her about her experiences and my hopes and dreams, and it contributed to having the absolute best of afternoons.

You know, it’s amazing to see God move in really obvious ways. Days like this just feel like a hug from Him, a whisper, or in my case a really loud shout from Him saying “I’ve got you, and I care about you, and I really do want to bless you”. It’s amazing to feel that encouragement in such tangible ways. It’s really easy to praise God on days like this, right? 🙂 The thing is, when we go through a tough time, we have to remember that we had days like this, and we have to have hope that a day of encouragement will come again. I know it sounds cheesy coming from someone who just had one of the best days of their life, but it’s true no matter what kind of day you’ve had. God has you in mind, and wants to take care of and bless you, in the good times and the bad! He never leaves us, never forsakes us, and the good days full of sunshine and rainbows WILL come again!